anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
