my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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