State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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