why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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