Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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