Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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