i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
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