omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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