Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
