Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
