Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
