Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
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