I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
