Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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