trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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