I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
