Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize