i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
