Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
