it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
