he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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