I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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