I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
