i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
