Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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