So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
