His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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