I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
