Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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