He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
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