omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
