the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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