So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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