Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
