Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
