your parents love me but you hate me
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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