Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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