you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
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Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
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I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
How does it feel to date your dad?
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