you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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