last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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