I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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