saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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