do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
