D3 body, D1 cock
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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