dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
