I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
It was like giving head to a cactus.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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