Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Randomize
