now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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