Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
