Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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