even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
