i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
