just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
