I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
