She said her name was "party"
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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