but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
