I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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