You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
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i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
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I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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