He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
