Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
