Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
