I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
What a dumb baby whore.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Dicks are not precious.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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