id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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