Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
