It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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