My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
